Papa John is a Fraud

Thanks for choosing Pizza Hut, how can help you this morning? DUNKEY: Is this Pizza Hut? Yes, it is. DUNKEY: More like Pizza Butt. Stupid ass, I knew it was you! You dumbass fuck! DUNKEY: GOTCHA DUNKEY: And I better get my damn pizza too, I better get it. LOU: It is a great day here at Pizza Hut, this is Lou how may I help you? DUNKEY: Heyya lemme get a pep-pepperon-ayy LOU: I’m sorry? DUNKEY: Let me get a one pepperone. LOU: I cannot understand you sir. You want a pepper- one slice of pepperoni? Or you want a pizza pepperoni? DUNKEY: One pepperone yeah LOU: I’m sorry? DUNKEY: Yeah you know (Laughs) LOU: I’m sorry, I don’t know sir. I’m just trying to find out what would you like. DUNKEY: Oh you know (Laughs) DUNKEY: You know me (Laughs) LOU: Who’s this? DUNKEY: This is uh… me LOU: I’m sorry who? DUNKEY: This is the me- This is the meat man. DUNKEY: You know me LOU: I’m sorry I cannot… LOU: Who? DUNKEY: Thank you LOU: Is this for pick- LOU: Hello? DUNKEY: (Chuckle) And I better get it too. Thank you for choosing Belmont-Kimball Pizza Hut. How may I help you today? DUNKEY: Hey, lemme get a peetz DUNKEY: HAHa DUNKEY: Alright and I better get it too. We’re having a great day on (unintelligible). How are you doing today? DUNKEY: Hey! Where’s my pizza? Uh… You didn’t order anything DUNKEY: I ordered like two seconds ago. DUNKEY: Where’s my pizza man? I don’t know DUNKEY: Garlic bread. Umm. Garlic cheese bread. DUNKEY: Cheese DUNKEY: Motzerell Pizza Hut Wing Street. DUNKEY: Umm… chicken wings Hello? DUNKEY: Pizza DUNKEY: Uhhh, bread sticks. DUNKEY: Uh, Sprite. DUNKEY: You get all that? Yeah, you wanna keep talking? DUNKEY: Yeaaaus Here, go ahead man. Just keep talking. Like I’m not going to hang up on you or anything. DUNKEY: Chicken peetz You called from a Skype number, dude. (Hangs up) DUNKEY: Uh, peetzurell Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. How can I help you? DUNKEY: Hey gimme a weiner pizza. Hoo hoo! And I better get it too. Pizza Hut, will this be for delivery or carryout?” DUNKEY: Is this Papa John? No, this is Pizza Hut DUNKEY: Alright, put Papa John on. Uh yeah I don’t know the phone number for that DUNKEY: Alright, put him on. (Hang up) DUNKEY: Is this him? DUNKEY: Hey Papa John, I need a double peetz- Gamestop, trade in your Smartphones and iDevices for cash or store credit, this is Dave DUNKEY: Hey DAVE: Hello DUNKEY: Dave’s Pizza? DAVE: Dave’s Pizza? Yeah. I make- DUNKEY: Alright DUNKEY: Put on Papa John, okay? DUNKEY: ‘Cuz i can’t trust ya, Dave, I can’t trust ya anymore. You wanna put on Papa John? DUNKEY: Put on John… DUNKEY: Yeah. DAVE: Well that’s a whole different number man, you called Dave’s Pizza. DUNKEY: Is this John? DAVE: This is Dave’s Pizza. DUNKEY: Hey John, get me a side order of chicken wings and two peets…okay? DAVE: You got- you have to have a main order to get a side order… DUNKEY: Thank you babay DUNKEY: I’ll see you in ten minutes. DAVE: Doesn’t work like that buddy. DUNKEY: Is it here? DAVE: $200…Two-Hundred Dollars. DUNKEY: $200 okay. DUNKEY: I’ll pay for that extra delivery. DAVE: Alright yeah be ready in a week. DUNKEY: Okay thanks. DUNKEY: Alright soo we took care a’ that, now I gotta get the soda. Hi you’ve reached Hogan’s Heroes & Pizza; our kitchen will be closed umm… July 2nd DUNKEY: God dammit. until July 9th, end of holiday. *array of beeping* DUNKEY: Oh god It’s gonna explode! *beeping continues* DUNKEY: Get me outta here! If you are a Papa John’s customer and need technical assistance with an online order… TONY: Papa John’s Operations Call Center this is Tony speaking, how can I help you today? DUNKEY: Hey I got a pizza and I’m having a problem with this tech- it’s a technical problem… TONY: Okay so you received your pizza? Is that what you’re saying? DUNKEY: Yeah. TONY: And you you wanna place a complaint about it? DUNKEY: I don’t know how to eat it… TONY: I’m sorry? DUNKEY: I don- I don’t get how supposed eat it… DUNKEY: Do you start from the uhh.. TONY: What do you mean by that? DUNKEY: I mean do you pick up the… Top or the bottom? DUNKEY: I ju- I donno how ta- I dunno- I dunno how to work this thing. DUNKEY: I’m gonna be honest, I dunno how to work this thing… TONY: You don’t know how to work… (Long pause) TONY: …pizza? DUNKEY: Can I get a different one? TONY: I’m sorry? DUNKEY: Can I just get a whole- just get me a whole different one? I want a pepperoni this time. TONY: You’ll have to call your store… DUNKEY: Thank you Papa. DUNKEY: I’ll be looking forward to the pizza that you’re gonna send me. Thank you for calling GameStop (unintelligible) speaking how can I help you DUNKEY: Hey can I preorder the new Pizza Hut Crazy Crust Pizza? I mean how much cheese are you bringing? I mean, it really depends… DUNKEY: uh… if you don’t got the dough, can’t give you the pizza DUNKEY: Well y’know, uh… I would like at least two layers. Two layers… DUNKEY: Think you could hook me up? I might be able to DUNKEY: GameStop? Yes DUNKEY: This is Papa John’s… GameStop. DUNKEY: Papa John’s DUNKEY: Papa John’s. DUNKEY: I’m calling ’em back… Thank you for calling GameStop DUNKEY: It’s Papa John’s, not GameStop (Laughter) Old Spaghetti Factory, this is Amanda how may I help you? DUNKEY: Hey is this Spaghetti Factory? AMANDA: It sure is DUNKEY: Hey is this Papa John’s now? I changed my mind. AMANDA: I’m sorry? DUNKEY: Is this Papa John’s? AMANDA: No it’s the Old Spaghetti Factory. DUNKEY: (Wheezing laughter) You’re joking me right? There ain’t no Old spaghet- you know, you can’t- There ain’t no Old Spaghetti Factory right? This is Papa John’s? AMANDA: Nope! (DUNKEY LAUGHS) this is the Old Spaghetti Factory, Sir. DUNKEY: (laughing) That’s a good one John DUNKEY: (laughing) You got the best jokes John… Nah for real though, give me a- give me a pepperoni DUNKEY: Pepperoni Pizza AMANDA: I’m sorry sir, I think you have the wrong number. DUNKEY: (Laughter) I see what you’re saying (Laughter) yeah just give me one pepperone. Yep. AMANDA: Sir I’m sorry. OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY 1: Thank you for calling Old Spaghetti Factory this is Amy how can I help you? OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY 2: Spaghetti Factory how can I help you? OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY 1: Pardon me? OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY 2: This is the Old Spaghetti Factory..? OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY 1: Yes! OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY 2: Can I help you? OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY 1: Sorry? OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY 2: Can I help you? OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY 1: You just called me. OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY 2: I didn’t call anybody. OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY 1: Oh! I just answered the phone (awkward laughter) OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY 2: Okay. DUNKEY: You guys are in love now! Pepperoni pizza and chicken wings? DUNKEY: (whispered) Yeah but don’t What size do you want the pizza? DUNKEY: (Whispered) I just want- I want a real big pizza, but don’t tell me wife about the chicken wings okay? Thanks Papa John’s DUNKEY: Hello is this Papa John’s? No..? DUNKEY: Fuck you. DUNKEY: (Music Playing) Ey. Hello? DUNKEY: (Music Playing) Ey. Who is this? (MUSIC PAUSES) DUNKEY: (Musically) I’m callin’ Pizza Huuut (MUSIC RESUMES) No, this isn’t Pizza Hut DUNKEY: (musically) I’m callin’ Papa John’s No, this is not Papa John’s, this is Domino’s DUNKEY: *SHARP INHALE* (MUSIC PAUSES) DUNKEY: (Musically) I’m calling Pizza Huuut (MUSIC RESUMES) Hello? DUNKEY: HEY Yo, I’m Spongebob DUNKEY: HEY What’s up? (MUSIC PAUSES) DUNKEY: (Musically) I’m callin’ Pizza Huuut (MUSIC RESUMES) DUNKEY: This is John? JOSH: Josh. DUNKEY: John. JOSH: What can I do for ya? DUNKEY: This is John, right? JOSH: Josh. DUNKEY: John? JOSH: JOSH. J-O-S-H. DUNKEY: John. JOSH: Do you have any questions I can help you with or..? DUNKEY: Is this John? JOSH: Yes, it’s John. SEAN: This is Sean how may I help you? DUNKEY: John? SEAN: Sean? DUNKEY: John. SEAN: Sean. DUNKEY: John. DANA: This is Dana. DUNKEY: John? DANA: Dana. DUNKEY: John. DANA: Can I- can I help you with something? DUNKEY: This John? DANA: No, this is Gamestop. DUNKEY: John. DANA: Yup. DUNKEY: Hey John- JONATHAN: …Xbox One or Ps4; this is Jonathan how can I help you? DUNKEY: JOHN?! JONATHAN: Yes. DUNKEY: HOLY SHIT!


  1. Pizza guy: “May I take your order?” Me: “2ushwbduyebdeuhcbdcfuyegcfeukhcdceduhcbfuhekdfgihfreihfnrehirfeherihfnhr im a fucking bird imma eat your face sysfjyxvxsjyxgsxhkgcwkhgsdvwiygcvdeghbdwjhedbcde, B Ÿ 3 !”

    (Pizza guy hangs up)

  2. The best reactions are the ones who find it funny and play along and not the ones who are like "I'm callin the police"

  3. Hahahaha after 6 years of watching this video. I just realised the gameplay at the end where your fucking with those dudes in the lobby. "GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW"

  4. I love how the gamestop employee who went with the Dave's pizza joke goes on to explain how you need a main order to get a side order 😂

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