Richard Osman’s House of Games – S03E21 (04 Nov 2019)

APPLAUSE Good evening, everybody. Welcome to a brand-new week on
House Of Games. I’m Richard Osman and I’m joined by four brand-new
celebrities. They will be battling it out
all week in a series of very, very silly quizzes, all to win
this wonderful trophy. Shall we find out who
our celebrities are this week? They are Nina Wadia… ..Johnny Ball… ..Suzi Ruffell… ..and Danny Wallace… Welcome along. This is my favourite
bit of the week when everyone is still friendly
with each other. Round about Wednesday, Johnny,
when it all turns, it all turns. Nina, how lovely to have you here.
Thank you so much. Are you a good quizzer?
Are you a competitive person? I am a competitive person, but I am
a terrible loser as well. So I’ll be throwing things
at people if I lose. You OK, John?
I’m in the firing line. If I duck, look out. Seat two. A TV legend we have with us today,
Mr Johnny Ball. Welcome along, Johnny. Who’s going
to be your big opponent this week? My own brain. The speed of my mind. Actually, when I go on flights, my brain comes behind
in me roll-on bag. I’d watch a TV show –
Johnny Ball Versus His Own Brain. That sounds like a hit. One of our finest stand-ups there
in seat three, Suzi Ruffell. Suzi, welcome along. Now,
we know at the end of the week, somebody walks away with… I’m going to say it’s an
extraordinary trophy. What a trophy. You can tell how great it is
by how light it is. Is that…? I’ve never held one
before. That is how you tell. At the end of each show there’s also
a daily prize. OK? Right. Shall we take a look at today’s
daily prizes? I’d love to. Whoever wins today gets
the choice of one of these. There’s a House Of Games umbrella
sunglasses, toothbrush, the fondue set,
and new for this series, a pair of House Of Games roller
boots. That’s what I’ll have. Will you go straight for boots?
Straight for the roller boots. Can I ask what size shoes you are?
Six. They are literally six.
That is perfect there. That’s the only size we have. If I win them today, can I wear
them for the show tomorrow? I would love for that to happen. I’ll talk to health and safety
but that would be great. Seat four, Danny Wallace.
Welcome along, sir. Thank you. Nice to have you here. What are your
tactics for this week, Danny? Today I intend –
throughout the week, in fact – to create a toxic work environment
for everybody here. Normally, that’s my job. Be lovely
if you could take that off my hands. All four of you, it’s an absolute
pleasure to have you here. We’re going to be quizzing all
week. Shall we begin? Love to. OK. Day one, Monday. Round one.
Let’s see what it is. Every time I press this buzzer, a new round
comes up. You don’t know what it’s
going to be, I don’t know. What’s the first one? Super simple. I simply ask you
two questions at a time and the answers to them
rhyme with each other. Fingers on buzzers. Buzz in
and tell me the two answers, please. Here is your first question. BUZZER
Yes, Nina. Bugs Bunny, pocket money. Is that right? First point of the week.
Well done, Nina. Here is your second question. BUZZER
Yes, Danny. Morten Harket went to market. Is that the right answer? Morten Harket went to market. Well played, Danny.
Can we stop there for a minute? I only know one pop song,
Pop Goes The Weasel. Let me have a little think
if that rhymes with anything and we’ll see what we can do
later in the round. Here’s your next question. BUZZER
Yes, Johnny. Dover and Hanover. What’s the landmark?
The White Cliffs of Dover. Is that right? White Cliffs of Dover
and House of Hanover. Well played. Oh, God. Now I’m the only one
without a point. Come on, let’s get off the mark
with this one. Who is this? BUZZER
Danny. James McAvoy, Ode To Joy. Is that the right answer? It is the right answer. Well done if you said that at home.
Here’s your next question. What is this? And who is this? BUZZER
Nina? Oh, gosh. Never mind. That was a good buzz in.
Jimmy Carter. Jimmy Carter and…?
Starter? INCORRECT BUZZER Incorrect, I’m afraid.
You can buzz in, anyone else. Suzi just beats Johnny
to the buzzer. Taramasalata. Taramasalata…
And…someone Carter. WHISPERING: Jimmy Carter.
Jimmy Carter. I’ve got to give you that.
Thank you. Taramasalata and Someone Carter. What’s going on?! Got to be quick. Got to be quick. Here’s your next question. BUZZER
Danny. I know nothing about cricket,
but I definitely know what rhymes with Turner And Hooch,
and that’s Graham Gooch. You know nothing about cricket.
You got yourself a point, though. Well done. Well done if you
got that at home. Very nice. That’s the way to do it. Here’s your
last question in this round. BUZZER
Yes, Johnny. Anne of Cleves, Prince Of Thieves. Oh, that’s a great answer
and it’s a right answer. Anne of Cleves, Prince Of Thieves.
How well did you do at home? How has everyone done in the studio? Let’s take a look at our first
leaderboard. Nina and Suzi, you both
have one point. Johnny, you have two. Danny,
early leader, with three points. All right.
Well played. Shall we have another round?
Yes. OK, I’ll press this buzzer, see what Monday’s second round
is going to be. Now, this is…
Are you reading some of my reviews? This is a pairs game. The player in the last place
gets to choose their partner. Nina and Suzi, you are both in
the last. So, Nina, you can choose. Who would you like to play this
round with? I will go with Johnny. That’s nice. That’s classy.
You’re a fool. An absolute fool. Nina and Johnny, Suzi and Danny,
you are teams. If you can take out your tablets,
please. What I’m going to do now,
I’m going to ask you all a question. You have to write down an answer.
You write down a number. But we will take as your answer
the average of each pair. Whichever pair’s average is closer
to the real answer wins the point. Here is your first question. This is data released by a major
motoring organisation. So you both write down a number
and we’ll take the average. Danny nodding…
I know this one. “I’m so glad I revised that.” Nina, we have to go first with you. I would not have a clue where to go
with this one. Me either. I’ve gone with
a very specific 2,326. If you’ve got it bang on
I’ll give you an extra point. Johnny, have you gone above
or below? I think I’m low. Oh, no, Johnny! I think I’m low. There is some difference
of opinion on this team. Johnny, you’ve said four million. Your average, Johnny and Nina, is… It’s a searing indictment of the
British infrastructure from Johnny. Isn’t it just?
Suzi, what have you gone with? 180,000? That sounds more like
a reasonable answer, but I literally don’t have a clue.
Danny, have you gone up or down? You happy with Suzi’s answer?
Well, there’s two on my road. OK. And there’s one on the school run. Using that as a basis,
I’ve ended up with 28,000. Well done.
So a more positive view of Britain. OK, that’s nice.
Backing Britain, aren’t you? Yeah. So your answer, Suzi and Danny,
is… What do you think at home?
Have you teamed up with someone,
have you taken an average? Let’s take a look at how many
potholes were reported and who’s won the point. Well done. Well done. Believe in Britain.
Believe in Britain, Johnny. Suzi and Danny get the point there.
Very well done. Here’s your next question. If you write four million
again, Johnny, then… How many times
is the word Roxanne sung? Everybody is locked in. We will start with Suzi
and Danny at this time. Suzi, you know the song? I do. How many times do you think
Roxanne is sung? I’ve gone 52. 52 weeks in a year,
cards in a pack, Roxannes in the song.
That’s how I did it. Danny, any Roxannes
on the school run? No, no. But I’ve gone for… Let’s see if you can do
a little, kind of, like the way you just did that. See what you’ve got for 46. 46 weeks in a short year,
46 in a pack of cards that’s missing some cards,
46 Roxannes in Roxanne. So your average –
49, Johnny, right? That sounds good to me.
That sounds reasonable. And you were quite close
to each other as well. Nina, what have you gone with? Very low again. 21. It could be. Johnny, have you
gone up or down from 21? You won’t believe it… 48. And I think my partner will have
dragged us on the winning streak. Oh, do you think so? I think so.
That would be handy if she has. So your average… You got
a half Roxanne here, I think. So 49 plays 34.5. How many times is Roxanne sung
in the song Roxanne by Police? Who’s getting the point? 26 is right. Johnny, you’re quite right. Nina dragged you down
to the perfect answer. 26 times. Well done if you said that
at home. A point to Johnny and Nina. Well played, Nina. The last question in this round. That is a question, isn’t it?
Is this in America or is this in the UK? I think
the clue is in “world record”. That would make sense.
We’re going with that. What do you think, at home? Team up with someone,
write down two answers, take your average, or just guess yourself because
your family always let you down. So just go by yourself. Johnny, what have you gone with
for this? I’ve gone with clickety click.
66cm. 66cm. I can’t really do centimetres
very well. It’s that, it’s that.
There you go. Oops, I’ve dropped it! Nina, are you going bigger
than that or shorter? I went bigger. 150. How tall are you?
I’m 157cm. So you think just shorter than you.
Yeah, just shorter than me. That’s five foot. Yeah. So, Nina
and Johnny, you average is… Danny, have you gone…? You know
when you think you’ve got an answer and then you hear other people’s
answers – “That sounds about right.” I’ve gone the other way. I’ve gone
for just a giant 201cm. I don’t know why. Can I just say,
that is my height. Is it? Maybe that’s what made me
think of it. That’s a cucumber… Big cucumber.
It’s possible. Suzi, do you think the world’s longest cucumber
is taller than me or shorter? I think shorter than you, Richard.
Thank you. I think 100. I think together we might
be about right. Yeah. Are you glad to be dragged down?
I’m pleased, I was. Suzi and Danny,
your average is… Their average is almost
exactly your answer. Their brains
essentially equal yours. What’s the longest ever cucumber?
Is it as tall as me or is it as tall as Nina?
Let’s find out. The longest cucumber ever… 107. There we are. Hey-hey! That is the end of that round.
Tablets away, please. Let’s take a look and see
what it’s done to the scores. I think this week is going to be
very close between these four. Suzi, you have two points.
Nina, you have three. Johnny and Danny out in front
with four points. Well played. Two points
between everybody. Let’s see if we can separate you,
shall we, with round three? Today, round three is going to be… Going to show you a line
from a famous song, but we’re going to represent it
with pictures, OK? You have to decipher the pictures,
see what the line is from, and tell us the popular song
we’re representing, OK? Here is your first lyric. The song is from 1984.
What’s this? BUZZER
What is that, Danny? It’s Raining Men. Is it It’s Raining Men? # Cos tonight for
the first time… # The first time. # Just about half past ten… #
Just about half past ten. # For the first time in history… #
First time in history. # It’s gonna start raining men… # It’s Raining Men by
The Weather Girls. Well done, Danny. Let’s have a look at another one.
What is this lyric? It’s a song from 1976.
What is it? Got the word Jo there.
What is it doing? This looks like a computer error,
Richard. I promise you it’s not. BUZZER
Yes, Danny. Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene…
It’s Jolene. Let’s have a listen.
Is it Jolene? Fantastic. # Jolene, Jolene… #
Well done. # Jolene, Jolene… # Here’s your next one.
What’s this song, please? From 2003. BUZZER
Danny again. Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah. Now, here’s the problem. Is that what it’s called?
Is it called Shake It? Shake it, shake it, shake it,
like a Polaroid picture. It’s not, I’m afraid. Come on, Johnny, you know this.
Yes, Suzi. Hey Yo? I’ll give you that. “Hey Ya!”
is the right answer, Suzi. Let’s have a little listen. # Shake it, shake it, shake it
like a polaroid picture… # “Hey Ya!” by Outkast
is the right answer. I knew it wasn’t
Pop Goes The Weasel. If that comes up, you’re laughing. Here’s your next song.
What is this a lyric from? It’s from the year 1968.
What’s this song? BUZZER
Yes, Nina. It’s A Wonderful World. Is it It’s A Wonderful World? It’s What A Wonderful World. Well done. I’ll give you that. # I see trees of green… #
Trees of green. Very good. # Red roses too… #
Red roses too. # I see them bloom… # And there you go –
“four” me and you at the end. Very good. Final one
in this round. 1967. What’s this song, please? BUZZER
Suzi. I feel it in my fingers, I feel it
in my toes. Love Is All Around Me. Is that what it’s called?
Love Is All Around. I will give you that. Yes. Well
done. Let’s have a little listen. # I feel it in my fingers… #
Feel it in my fingers. # I feel it in my toes… #
I feel it in my toes. Love Is All Around by The Troggs.
1967. # Love is all around me… #
Love is all around me. # And so the feeling grows… #
And so the feeling grows. Very well played.
That’s the end of that round. Let’s take a look at the scores. End
of round three, here’s how we stand. Oh, it couldn’t be much closer. Joint second place for Nina,
Johnny and Suzi, all with four. Danny, still out in front
with six points. Thank you. That is close. Two rounds to go to. It is super
close on Monday’s House Of Games. Let’s see what round four
is going to be. We are going to play… Would you please all take
your tablets out? We’re going to show you…
Are you happy? You like a geography round, Suzi?
No. You’re here a week. They’re all going to come up
at some point. But on the first day! Best to get it out of the way. OK. We’re going to show you all a map.
OK? This is today’s map. We’ve shown you a map of America. I’m going to ask a series of
questions. You need to find the answers on the
map, please. Here is your first one. So where is that answer? What do you think, at home?
Point at the screen if you know the answer to this one. Nina, we’ll start with you. Before we see where you put your
cross, did you know the answer to this? It’s really hard. I thought
it was somewhere in New York. Let’s see where Nina
has placed her mark. OK, up in sort of
New Hampshire kind of area. It’s lovely round there. I mean, it’s not New York, but it is
lovely. Flat. Not many steps. Johnny, did you know the answer
to this one? I guessed Washington.
I guessed it would be Washington. Let’s see where you put… Then I had to guess
where Washington was. I said about there. OK.
It’s kind of Virginia. That’s roughly where Washington is.
It’s not in any state at all. Suzi, did you know the answer
to this? No. No. OK. Where have you put your mark? Um…there. OK. That’s kind of Pennsylvania.
I was thinking more New York… For three people have no idea
of the answer, you’re remarkably close
to each other. Danny, do you know
the answer to this one? It’s east or getting in there. And I was thinking, is it Chicago or
Detroit or somewhere like that? OK. I’ve kind of…
Well, here’s where I’ve gone. In Ohio, you’ve gone there. Listen, we’ve mentioned
a lot of places apart from the place
where it actually is. It’s not the steps that Laurel
and Hardy push the piano up, is it? You’re absolutely right,
it is not those steps. It’s in Philadelphia.
Oh, right. Philadelphia Museum of Art. Who has
won the point? Who’s closest? Suzi is closest. Very well done,
you were in the right space. Bit of guesswork happened there.
Very nicely done. Here is your next one. Please find
the following on the map. Where is the Hoover Dam?
Where’s the Hoover Dam? Hmm. Oh, could be miles… Again, it’s
one of the ones you’ve heard of. But where is it? What do you think, at home?
Where’s the Hoover Dam? Johnny, we will start with you.
Where, roughly, do you think? The Hoover Dam had to be
where there’s a pretty hefty river. And there’s the Missouri
and the Mississippi, which runs roughly down the middle. But then I thought, “Well, hang on,
there’s the Grand Canyon and is it “sort of that neck of the woods?” And so I went there. Iowa you’ve gone.
The famous Iowa River. Suzi, did you have a rough clue
as to where the Hoover Dam was? No, no. OK. But it worked for you last time,
didn’t it? Yeah. Bit of guesswork. I went sort of quite near Johnny but where it looks like
there’s water. Illinois you are.
Not a million miles from Chicago. That sort of area. Danny, do you know the answer? I’m ashamed to say I don’t know it. So I thought what I’ll do is be
tactical and sort of try and cover half the country. So I’ve
gone for California. Oh, right. You’re taking the whole of the
West Coast, California, there. Nina, any clues? Have you been? I did this. And wherever the pen landed, so…
Gotcha. Where has Nina gone? That’s up in sort of Montana. Yeah. That’s nice. Lovely part of the world. Now, the Hoover Dam is
on the Colorado River. So you’re right
with the Grand Canyon. Right. Yeah. Near Boulder City, Nevada. So who is nearest? What do you think, at home,
where have you put it? Here’s where the Hoover Dam is. Oh, it’s down…
Danny. Well done. The tactic paid off beautifully.
If you go to Vegas or something you can get to the Hoover Dam.
It’s that neck of the woods. Yeah. Here’s your last one in this round. Ah, now we’re looking for… NINA: Come on, Johnny. SUZI: I know the song.
You know the song. Right, time to close my eyes again. I know the name of the place,
but where on Earth is that? Hmm. Do you know the song, Suzi? Yes.
Yeah. Danny, you know the song? I think I do. The song, Suzi, is
called? 24 Hours From Georgia. Oh, it’s not. 24 Hours From… Tulsa. Tulsa. Tulsa. So let’s have a little look
where you’ve gone, Suzi. Texas. But maybe that’s near Tulsa. So, Danny, you knew it was Tulsa.
Do you know where Tulsa is? In my head it’s, like, Oklahoma. But I think it’s kind of Midwest. It’s part of that kind of vibe. But then I don’t know where that is.
Yeah. So I’ve gone up. Let’s see where you’ve gone. Colorado you’re in. So close to the Hoover Dam there.
Yeah. You are quite right, it is Oklahoma,
though, that is the right answer. So you knew the state, but you
didn’t know where the state was. Nina, you didn’t know anything?
No. But I went for Oklahoma. Let’s have a look
where Nina has gone. I thought I’d cover the odds
and go bang in the middle. You’re in Kansas. That’s OK.
That sounds like it’s near Oklahoma. Yeah, it does. Johnny. You knew
it was Tulsa. I knew it was Tulsa. I thought it was a bit further west. Let’s see where Johnny has gone. I was going to put it
on that dividing line. You’re in New Mexico.
Right at the top of New Mexico. Yeah. So, listen,
24 Hours From Tulsa, it is Oklahoma. So let’s see, where is Tulsa
and who has won the point? That is… Nina has won the point. I tell you the odds are there, if you just close your eyes
and do that. That was quite something. That’s the end of that round.
Tablets away, please. We have one round to go
on Monday’s House Of Games. We’re about to find our first
champion. Who is it going to be? Let’s take a look at the scores
going into that final round. It couldn’t be much closer.
Johnny, you have four. Five points for Nina and Suzi. Danny, still with a slender lead,
on seven points. Our final round on
Monday’s House Of Games. Somebody is going to win themselves
a wonderful prize. Let’s see what the final round is. It’s always
the same and it always is…. We’re going to show you a picture.
There’ll be a clue underneath. Smash them together
and give me the answer. Fingers on buzzers, everybody.
A correct answer gives you a point.
Incorrect answer knocks a point off. Anybody could win this. And it’s not
often I get to say that. Your first category
for this round is… The pictures will be pianists.
There’ll be a clue underneath. Smash them together, please.
Here’s your first one. BUZZER
Yes, Danny. Les Dawson’s Creek. Les Dawson, Dawson’s Creek,
Les Dawson’s Creek. Well played, Danny Wallace. Here’s your next pianist. BUZZER
Yes, Suzi. Carole King Lear. Well played.
It is Carole King, King Lear. Our final pianist. BUZZER
Yes, Nina. Oh, gosh, Nina… Oh, no…
That’s wrong, I’m afraid. Anyone else? BUZZER
Yes, Danny. Aretha Franklin J Roosevelt? Can’t take it, I’m afraid. I’m tempted not to take a point off
Danny, he was so close to the answer. I’m not going to take a point
off you. Bless you. It is… Aretha Franklin,
Franklin D Roosevelt. I can’t, in all conscience,
knock one off for that. Here’s your next category. Those will be the pictures,
there’ll be a clue underneath. Smash the answers together, please. BUZZER
Nina. Cream puff… I can’t remember what he was in. No-one? Is it a cream horn? I’ve never seen one in my life. It is a cream horn.
Anyone want to buzz in? Johnny. Cream Hornblower. Cream Hornblower
is the right answer. Cream horn, Hornblower. I can’t help thinking Danny did a
lot of the work for you there. Yeah! Sometimes you’ve got to
get in there. Here’s your next pastry
and your next clue. Quite something, isn’t it? No, no-one going for it?
Let’s take a look at the answer… BUZZER
Oh, Nina. Is it Vol-au-ventreaty
of Versailles? No, it’s not! It’s not
Vol-au-ventreaty of Versailles. Let’s take a look at
what the answer is. Oh, no. It’s Vol-au-ventente Cordiale. You got the vol-au-vent.
The Entente Cordiale – of course. Let’s take a look
at your next pastry. Do you know the name
of the of the road? Route 66? Yeah. Then what’s that?
Sausage roll. It’s not a sausage roll, actually.
Is it a croute 66? I’ll give you that.
Salmon en croute, Route 66. Here is your next category. Those are the pictures. Please smash the answers
into the clues beneath. BUZZER
Yes, Danny. Brian Coxtail soup.
Is that right? Brian Cox, oxtail soup.
Brian Coxtail soup. Well played. Well done. KLAXON That is the end of that round. End of Answer Smash, and the end
of Monday’s House Of Games. I think you all got one right
in that round as well. Let’s take a look. Who was won
Monday’s House Of Games? It is Danny Wallace with nine points.
APPLAUSE Congratulations, Danny. Well played. So, Danny, it’s nice to get an early
mark on the leaderboard. Why not? Well done. Also,
lovely early prize as well. Shall we take a look at the prizes?
Yes, please. Choose what to take home.
There’s the umbrella. The sunglasses look cool. Can I have the roller skates
and give them to Suzi, please? That is lovely. That’s how we’re
playing this week. Danny Wallace! Thanks, Danny. That’s brilliant. Very, very nice indeed. Let’s take
a look at our weekly leaderboard. These are the points
you’ll take through to tomorrow. Nina, you have one point. Johnny, two. Suzi, three.
Danny, four. Thank you so much for a lovely game. It’s going to be very close
this week, I think. I’ll see you the same time, same
place tomorrow. And we’ll see you the same time, same place tomorrow
as well on the House Of Games. APPLAUSE Suzi, it would be my honour
if you would accept these Richard Osman roller skates.
I would love to. I’m over the moon with them.
Oh, that is so moving.


  1. Nina is a comedian/actress, been in a soap opera called EastEnders, came to fame in a sketch show called goodness gracious me. Johnny used to prevent children's TV in the 70s has also hosted science programmes. Danny was a comedian/presenter, but is now a successful author with a Hollywood film adaptation of his book Yes Man. The other lady is a stand up comic, haven't seen her on TV much, but she does occasionally pop up on panel shows. Hope this helps people who are struggling a bit with who these people might be

  2. You know that person in the comments who really loved Ivo Graham? That'll be me with Suzi this week and I should probably say sorry in advance 😅

  3. In this great thought out games show made and put together by a team inputting the questions in a computer that i watch as my daily guilty pleasure has some rounds that work better then others . The best being the final round answer mash

  4. 27:40 – Johnny Five! R-E-S-P-E-C-T… sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me….
    Whoah… is that a false memory? I'm sure the robot in Short Circuit did that, but I can't find it anywhere now!!

  5. I've got used to watching quiz shows like Only Connect and University Challenge (and Eggheads/Mastermind previously) where there are people who actually know stuff. Watching these people mostly displaying their ignorance – is that entertaining? Just because they are/have been on TV doesn't really make them fun to watch in a quiz. There's not a lot of room for entertainment on this this show either – unlike The Big Fat Quiz etc. But I do like quizzes! I suppose I'll have to bite the bullet and watch it.

  6. As a West Virginian who in my own country has people getting Virginia and West Virginia confused, when Richard said West Virginia was Virginia, I'm not proud to say I may have seen red. But again, my own nation can't keep it straight, so no fault to Richard.

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