Hello, everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to the video where I try not to pla- WOOOAH.
(570M VIEWS?) What I’m gonna do is I’m gonna try *NOT* To play.. *Minecraft* Because there’s nothing about Minec- *Mark gawking at the amounts of views* *Uh..* *You alright there, Mark..?* Oh boy, oh. *Ah I see.* *……* *Mark has lost his mind-* Yeah but there’s definitely not like, a demand for it.
(Oh you have no idea.) *Mark sweating and panting at the amount of comments* *Do.. do you need water?* *I think he’s about to pass out* *Can someone call an ambulance?* *There’s someone having a heat stroke* *No, just tell them to get here as quick as possible* *Either he needs the E.R. or an asylum, I’m uh-* *Well uh- asylum it is-* Uh, man. I don’t have to play it. There’s nothing good about it, there’s nothing- *stifling*
There’s nothing good about it- *Mark struggling to keep his composure* *Okay, he’s completely lost it.* Okay it can’t be that- WOAHOHO- Hohoh- WoaHOH- Erhoh- wOAhHH- UTAH- HUH? Utah loves it some Minecraft. Utah loves *digging* so- That makes sense. ‘Kay maybe Colorado is here- *YEAAOH* Hohohoh- *NICE* How about Minecraft vs- Five- *keyboard ASMR* Can’t be more popular than any- GoHOHAH- *Mark astonished by how insane he’s becoming* *Mom, can you pick me up, I’m scared* Ah- That’s not even close. That’s not even close. [x2] That’s not even close. [x3] That’s not even- HO HAH- Hohkay- It’s basically DONE. *OOF* Erkay, alright, how about- *Oh he won’t be too happy about this-* *Mojang [ ︻デ═一 ] BUMBUM* Ah, it’s fine- Hmm- uhh- MMM!
*Yes, PORN* That’s true- WHA-? … Wait.. *Mark.exe is having technical difficulties* OH porn’s wi- Okay, porn- *PORN WINS* I thought for a second there was a dip in porn usage due to Minecraft.
(I mean, Minecraft porn-) “Interest in porn.” MISSISSIPPIIIIII MRS. SIPPYYYY UTAAAAAAH KILLIN’ IT WITH THE MINECRA- *devolves into laughter* Alright, okay, that’s unfair.
(Also because Minecraft porn-) Okay, um- How about- Fortnite- Can’t be more popular than fort-
*ominous music* *OH SHIT IT IS* Oh no.. Oh.. *chuckling* Okay.. *AAAAAAA* Okay, whatever it’s- it’s fine It’s fine. I won’t do it, I won’t do it. I won’t do it, you can’t make me do it. You can’t- I can’t- I won’t- I’m not- I don’t fall to peer pressure. I don’t. I don’t do it. I don’t fall- (But you do fall for that CASH tho.) *Mark failing to attempt to suffocate himself by forcing air out of his lungs* *Mark, you’re concerning me, please stop-* *JESUS CHRIST, SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION* *cough cough* *cough* *hack* *choke* *lungs collapsing* *death* *struggling*
No, I can’t. You can’t make me do it.
(Well, yes but actually no.) *constipated*
I’m not gonna do it. Don’t make me do it. *Make him do it*